It is so strange to have someone in one's heart after having thought he was doing his best to seduce you in spite of all sorts of personal difficulties, and knowing now for a while he didn't at all intend to.
But he said it too late. Love had already spread.
What hurts more is to have ment the slow way he used, as for getting more physical, was a sign of respect and kindness due to him knowing I've been previously deeply brokenhearted.
It was just pure indifference.
I'm getting old and I'm not pretty. Not enough for him.
I can't get rid of what I feel, miss him, can't avoid it. Miss our love, soul and body.
And bloody don't know what to do next step.
All I know is : I'll have to write.
[pic has been taken in august 2008, it seems so long ago]
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